The Moon Render Me Helpless
by Joou-sama
Summary: The full moon is up, and Moony is nowhere to be found. Sirius is worried, so worried in fact that he realizes his own feelings towards the other Marauder are infact real. But does Remus feel the same? SLASH and more SLASH enjoy
1. Absence of Moony

**Disclaim:** I do it because everybody else seems to! Not because I find it necessary. (Don't think a soul hasn't yet noticed that the wonderful world of HP is in fact NOT made up by me, but by the master-mind of J.K Rowling.)

.. I just make the chars do what I want 'em to..

**Warning: **If you somehow managed to "stumble" upon this fic and you find male X male action repulsive then.. err.. you're one sadistic little bugger!

On with the first fic I've ever written then shall we? excited

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"Come on Moony, we have to get you somewhere safe.. Comon we have to hurry!"

Sirius helped his weak friend's arm over his shoulders, carrying his weight as his own. Even in this fretful situation he couldn't help being amazed how light Remus felt leaning against him. His boyish body was so fragile. Remus moaned in obvious agony trying to repell the monster that was taking over him. '_Crap_.' Sirius quickly came to his senses and they staggered on forward towards the Womping Willow.

Remus' voice was like a fading candle. "Dont leave me.. I- I cannot do this without you.. the though of you is the only thing keeping me sane."

Sirius felt like he'd been jabbed in his stomach. Probably Remus would never know how those words struck right into his heart. "I would never leave you, Moony. Ever."

Remus looked up at Sirius and smiled a weak smile. His face was paler, and somehow more beautiful, than Sirius had ever seen before. Yet Sirius could see the pain flickering in his eyes, amber versus the silvery gray that was the wolf in him, wanting to take control.

This wasn't the first time Remus had turned into a werewolf, and it would definitly not be the last, he thought, but it certainly seemed like the worst.

Until an hour or so, Sirius had thought, like James and Peter, that Remus had gone and taken his monthly retirement up in the Shrieking Shack. But he usually came by the dormitory to exchange the usual goodbye: "See ya next month then" he would say.

"Happy hunting", they all would reply.

He hadn't done so this month.

------------------ Earlier that night -----------------------------------

"It's strange don't you think!" Sirius was walking back and forth in the emptying Gryffindor Common room.

"Get of it Pads. He probably has a legit reason for not showing up to say the exact same thing he says _every_ month. And sit down or I'll hex you! You're annoying the hell out of me." Sirius gave James a sinister glare that made Peter squirm in his chair, next to James.

"Yeah, but what if he's worse off and needs our help or something?"

"How much worse off can he be! He's a freaking werewolf, remember? Besides, James looked straight into Sirius' eyes, Moony is a big boy and he can take care of himself. He doesn't need you to cover his back _all_ the time you know? He raised one eyebrow, still looking at Sirius. And why do you care so much?"

Sirius gaped. He couldn't think of anything to say. When he realised how stupid he must look, he gave a shudder, muttered something (probably fowl words) beneath his breath and sped up to the boys dormitory slamming the door shut behind him.

Sitting down on his bed, he wondered. Why _did_ he care so much? James was his best friend, no arguing about that, yet he felt closer to Remus than anyone of them. At first he had thought the reason he was always protecting Remus was because he was like the little brother he'd never had. Seeming that his real brother Regulus was equally disgusted by him as the rest of his Dark Arts-loving family.

But he had soon come to realize that it was more than that. He found himself looking at Remus every time he got the chance. He could sit for hours stairing at his pale, beautiful face and his perfect red lips. But Moony was always so focused on his books which he always carried around so he probably never noticed the longing in Sirius' eyes.

No this was not brotherly love, it was different. Surely you don't want to hold your brother in your arms and never let go? And saying "I love you" and get the same answer back..surely. His heart sank when he came to the conclusion that he would never get the same answer back for sure. But for now, he needed to let Remus know.

Sirius jumped up from the bed. So nervous with the though of what he was about to do that his hands nearly shaked. He fumbled under James' bed until he got hold of the invisibility cloak, put it on, and snatched the Maurauder's Map from the bedside table before he sneaked out from the boys' dorm. Outside of the portrait he looked at the map and decided on a secret passage, free from Filch or his buggery cat.

Half way there, he suddenly came to a halt, voices were coming from the corner up ahead. He listened carefully and placed himself behind a statue so they wouldn't bump into him. Invisibility cloak or not, he wasn't going to risk being discovered. The voices drew nearer and to his great annoyance it was a group of Slytherins, with none other than his dear friend Snivellus looking very sneaky and content. It took him great strength to restist the urge hexing Snivel then and there just because of the ugly look on his face. Never the less, before he continued he decided to take another look at the map, just in case. He then saw something that made his heart leap. But it couldn't be..? The dot of Remus Lupin (or Moony) was situated in an old classroom not far from the corner where the group of Slytherins had appeared. Sirius ran towards the classroom as fast as he could, and banged on the door.

"Moony? Are you in there!" he yelled.

"Sirius! Oh Sirius, is that you? You have to help me get out of here, before it gets dark, please!"

Sirius knew exactly why the voice of Moony seemed so distressed. Tonight was a full moon, and Moony would start to change into his dark alter soon.

Sirius could only imagine what the outcome would've been if he hadn't found Remus before dark. An almost fully-grown werewolf, roaming the school corridors after dark. What if he'd bumped into someone? He would've surely killed him or her, or them even! Or even worse, Sirius throat suddenly became very dry, gotten himself killed when back up arrived. To their knowledge, Dumbledore and of course Poppy were the only ones of the staff that knew Remus was a werewolf.

"Why are you in here anyways!" Sirius continued.

"I – Oh I'm so stupid, Pads! A Slytherin came up to me after class saying that she could use my help. And I was a fool to accept. When I got here there was a whole group of Slytherins ambushing me. They wanted to know where I dissapear to every month, and when I wouldn't tell them they locked me up!" Sirius could hear by the tone of his voice that he was on the verge of tears.

"Don't worry Moons, I'll get you out of here!" Sirius pointed his wand at the door. "Alohomora!" he bellowed. Nothing happened.

"It's no use Pads", said Moonys fading voice from the other side of the door. If you hadn't noticed, I am much smarter than you, he said in an attempt of a matter-of-fact tone. Don't you think I've already tried that one, along with every other one in the book?"

"Well then", Sirius tried to sound self confident,"there's nothing left to do but to use pure brute force. Stand back Moons, this won't take long."

And to his great relief it didn't. After hurling himself on the door with all his strenght a couple of times it finally broke open. He staggered into the room, all numb in his left arm. He saw Remus sitting on the floor in a dark corner far from the window. But through the darkness Sirius could still see the shimmers of tears in Remus' eyes and the traces of those that had fallen on his cheeks.

"Oh Sirius!" And to his astonishment Remus leapt from the floor and flung himself into Sirius' arms. "I knew you would find me. You are always there when I need you the most."

_Need you the most_.. Sirius felt like what he needed the most was to hold Remus in his arms, whispering sweet words of comfort in his ear... _No_, Sirius gave himself a mental slap across the face, now was not the time. Now all he needed was to get Remus out of the school into the grounds, and if there was time, into the Shrieking Shack.

"Sirius..."

But Sirius had noticed aswell. The day was coming to and end, and that fast.

"... I don't know if I can make it." He shuddered in Sirius' arms.

"Of course you will, don't even think such thoughts" he replied while drying of a tear on Moonys cheek. "_We_ will make it."

And he darted out of the abandoned classroom as fast as he could, keeping a firm hold of Remus' hand.

------------------------- Present ------------------------------------------

Yes, this was definitly the worst.. As soon as they had come out into the grounds, Remus' state had rapidly gotten worse. The darkness seemed to consume them both and Sirius' only hope was that the cloudy sky would delay Remus' transformation, if only for a few seconds.

"Hang on, Moons. We're nearly at the Willow, it will be alright. Just hang on."

"I- I can't.. much longer, he wimpered. You should've just left me there, then maybe I would've attacked a student and the teachers would've come.. and.. and killed me and.. let this all be over with." Remus went dead quiet.

Sirius couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Stop it", he said, his voice hoarse. "Never say such things ever again, you hear me?" Maybe he had sounded a little more angry than he intended, because Remus' winced at the tone of his voice. The truth was that he was angry, but not more with Remus as he was with himself.

"But it's true!. There is no place in this world for me.." Sirius could tell he was trying with all his might to keep himself from crying. "I should just face it. No one would want to be with me, and you will probably forget me aswell. You will probably get a-... a normal life with... with normal friends and start a family.. without _me_. No one will ever love me.."

Sirius was lost for words, if only Remus knew how he really felt, would he still say these things to him?

"That's not true... Remus.. I-" But Sirius got interrupted by the cry of Remus, the human cry that was beginning to sound like a howl. The moon was slowly beginning to appear in the night sky. Remus suddenly fell into the damp grass, and the transformation begun. Judging by the screams and whelps of agony that came from Remus' mouth it was clear that the boy was trying with all his might to fight off his inner self.

"Then tell me, Sirius! he cried where he lied twitching in pain. "Tell me I'm loved!"

Sirius tried with every ounce of strenght he had left to hold his friend's body firm against the grass. "You are!" he bellowed while he struggled to pin down Remus. For such a slender body, Remus was incredibly strong, almost too strong..

"LIAR!" It wasn't more of a cry this time, but more of a growl. "Who... who would ever love me?" he snarled, fangs beginning to show.

Sirius couldn't stand this. With the very last bit of strenght he could muster he took a firmer hold of Remus and cried "I would! I would love you! I mean – I will.. I love you, Remus! I love you so much it hurts every time I see you, you hear me?

But Remus couldn't hear him anymore. He was transforming before Sirius' very eyes and doing so fast. He was too strong now.. Remus, no, he wasn't Remus anymore. Moony flung Sirius off him who landed with a deep thud on the hard ground. He had never witnessed Moony transform before. Sure he had been there with him numerous of times, as an Animagus. But they've never been there during transformation-time. Even they thought it wouldn't be safe. But now he had no time to loose. In a matter of seconds he stood there on four paws, his large fangs glowing in the moonlight. He wanted to get the werewolfs attention, so he maybe.. maybe could get it to follow him to the Shack. There at least he knew he would be safe. It was better off that way than having Remus running into the forrest, no telling where he would be when he finally transformed back to his old self.

Getting the wolfe's attention wasn't that hard actually. It felt as their animal eyes were locked into one another's for an eternity. Both of them estimating the outcome of an unevidible fight.

Sirius took the first leap. Werewolf or not, it was still Remus. And he had never been a match against Sirius. Sirius was stronger, his body more fit for fighting.. more mature.. more confident. Or at least that was what he told himself then. In reality he could've easily been ripped apart by the wolf's claws. And even as he got lashed several times, it never once tried to bite him. They fought, or played, very roughily, their way towards the Shack, and once there, the wolf and the shaggy black dog which was Sirius, were to tired to lash at each other more than they've already done. The wolf Remus, of course, recognized the place where he had spent so many full moons through out the years and felt more at ease. Here he was safe from the outside world, and foremost from himself.

Sirius sensed this and laid down at his usual spot in front of the stove. He didn't care who would miss him, he was going to keep an eye on his friend, or was it beloved? He didn't know. He didn't bleed any more, but he would certainly maintain several scars after this ordeal..

**­A/N**

**Im such a n00b. Lol. Well this was my first chappie and fic. Hope you enjoyed! There will be **

**more chapters.. I am working up the courage to write the real Lemony/Slashy/Yaoi ending to this one.. please don't give up hope on it just yet wink ;)**

**Just saying this: Remy is not the submissive type.. **

**Please onegaiiiii review! Even _constructive_ critisism will be appreciated. S'long!**


	2. Roll your hips and beg

**Disclaim:** I do it because everybody else seems to! Not because I find it necessary. (Don't think a soul hasn't yet noticed that the wonderful world of HP is in fact NOT made up by me, but by the master-mind of J.K Rowling.)

.. I just make the chars do what I want 'em to..

**Warning: **If you somehow managed to "stumble" upon this fic and you find male X male action repulsive then.. err.. you're one **_masochistic_** little bugger!

Oh and fyi, this one is more **lemony, slashy, and yaoier** than the other :)

On with the first fic I've ever written then shall we? Yay! (I know it says exactly the same on the other chappie, but wth, I posted 'em almost at the same time.) Anywho on we go. Read it! – I command you-

--------------------- Inside the Shack-------------

Sirius, or the dog Padfoot, woke up with a great yawn. It was daytime, the exact time he didn't know. He got up and stretched his limbs, they hurt enormously. Slowly the events of last night (was it last night?.. he couldn't tell) were coming back to him.

Had it really happened? Had he got the right impression that Moony liked him too? Had he really said the words he'd been longing to say for such a long time? And if he had, would Remus even remember it?

In a moment of sheer panic he looked around for a sign of the werewolf. Until he saw something. Something curled up in a corner. He escaped a sigh of relief. Remus, human now, was lying there, he could see him shaking with cold, his robes all torn. Apparently he had slept through the whole transformation.

Sirius let himself transform aswell. He crawled up to Remus and settled himself next to him. To his surprise he even let himself hold Remus in his arms. Remus stirred and Sirius thought he was going to wake up and tell him to get the hell away from him. Istead he snuggled closer, wearily opening his sleepish eyes, looking up at Sirius and said, "Hi."

"Err.. 'ello." It sounded so stupid when he heard himself say it, but he was yet again lost for words.

"How long have I been asleep?" Remus asked.

"Don't really know.. I, ehm.. just woke up m'self.."

"Oh..." he replied. None of them really knew what to say.

After what seemed as an eternity Remus spoke again. "Sirius..?"

"Uhu?

"No, nevermind. It.. – It wasn't important."

"What is it, Moons? You know you're never able to keep secrets from me."

"Well, I was just wondering, why... " He took a deep breath. "Why you always look away when I try to meet your eyes after you've been stairing at me for so long..."

Sirius was dumbfounded.

"You noticed?" he said, his voice suddenly hoarse. Remus let out a giggle.

"You weren't exactly hiding it, you know?" He paused, apparently preparing himself for what he was going to say next. "Did you mean.. wha- What you said last night?" Remus' eyes looked up and met Sirius'. They were shimmering the same way they had been last night. Remus had never looked so innocent, so hopeful nor so vulnerable as he had done then. Sirius had to sit up. Remus laid still, stairing at the cieling forcing away the tears. "I sort of blacked out there, but the last words I heard were the most wonderful words I've ever heard in my whole life." Sirius turned to look at Remus, flabbergasted. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I understand if you don't want anything to do with me from now on.. I"- But his last words were muffled by Sirius gentle kiss upon his lips. A kiss he wanted to last forever.

"I meant it. I meant it with all my heart." Sirius wispered. And this time when they kissed, it seemed as if they've done nothing else their whole lives. Soon enough Sirius hand started to move further and further off center. "Sir.. nng.. Siri... Oi..!" Remus gasped.

"Sorry.. guess I got a little bit too exited there" he said with a smirk. He could feel how insecure Remus shivering body felt beneith him, and he liked it.

"Well it's just that.. I've never done this before. With a guy that is." he quickly added.

"Not to worry. I find your insecurity a real turn on, and besides, it's not much different doing it with a guy or a girl."

Remus didn't really know what to think. "So you have? ...With both?"

"Aye, I've had my couple of turns by the bedpost. Last time with a sassy little Ravenclaw-girl if I remeber correctly."

"Wha- so then you're..?"

"Indeed that I am. Why restrain yourself to one, when you can have twice as much fun?" Sirius said looking straight into Remus' eyes waiting for the reaction he wanted. And he got it. If only for a brief second he saw the unmistakeable look of jealousy flicker across his beloved's face. He grinned.

"So that is what I am to you then.. just fun?"

Sirius raised Remus' chin with his hand and looked deep into his eyes.

"No, you are not. He kissed him gently. You are love." This time the kiss wasn't as gently as the previous had been..

----------------------- Some time later on ----------------------------

"I still can't believe you won't let me give greasy Snivellus what he deserves!" Sirius sulkily muttered to Remus. He was lying in his newly adopted bed (Remus') in the boy's dormitory.

"Oh will you let it go! It was weeks ago. And besides Snivel- I mean _Snape_, wasn't the only one there.. "

"Only two... weeks, I mean." He continued sulking, until he apparently came to think of something else, and a wolfish grin came across his face, his eyes filled with hunger. "You know.. being so noble that I am, if I let this one go, what will you do for me in return?"

Remus face went pink, and Sirius could tell how nervous had become. He took advantage of his boyfriends weakened state and pulled him down on the bed, pinning him down with his own body. Remus knew exactly what Sirius wanted.

"No, Sirius!" he gasped. Sirius hands were all over him. He couldn't bare this much longer.. "N- no.. wait! What if someone comes in?" he half said, half begged in a futile attempt to stop the unevidible.

Sirius didn't listen but started to unbutton his robe, then continueing on Remus'. "You shouldn't play with fire, Remus" he finally said, while running his fingers on a scar that went across Remus' chest. "You know what's coming."

And Remus knew he could't avoid it any longer. When Sirius had made up his mind about something there was no stopping it. "Sirius.." He was about to give in.

"Don't worry about a thing, darling. I know I am your first.. and that makes me want you even more." He said while gently kissing him on the chest, moving further and further down.

"And if you are worrying about blowing our cover, I've already taken certain precausions. No sound can be heard outside of this bed. And even if someone would decide to take a look behind the drapes, all they would see is an empty, rather well- made bed.. You and I are invisible to the outside world tonight." His kissing was becoming more intense, and then, it stopped. Sirius moved upwards and looked into Remus' eyes. "The only thing stopping me now.. is you." Remus was confused, he didn't know what to do. He wanted more than anything to become one with Sirius, yet he was afraid. Not afraid of what would happen between them, but more afraid what he would do to Sirius if he was to give in to his more.. erm.. _primal_ side. Sirius obviously took his silence as doubt. And Remus could see how dissapointed he was. Sirius sighed. "I am sorry.. I just wanted you to want me aswell.. I'm sorry.. I'll go now.." and he slowly moved away from Remus.

"... I- " Remus took a deep breath. "I want you, Sirius." He had finally said it. There was no turning back now. Sirius stopped and turned his head, having a look on his face of a boy who couldn't believe what he was hearing, a look of pure happiness. "You, you sure?" he croaked.

"Definately. I want you more that anything. More than ever." And this time it was Remus who kissed Sirius, pulling him closer, their half- naked bodies pressed tightly against one another. Their kissing grew more desperate, more hungry. Remus was straddeling Sirius with such force that Sirius had to gasp for air. "Rem-" he started. Then his eyes widened in shock at his revelation. He knew he had awakened the wolf.. '_And here I thought I was the the one being on top..' _He smiled to himself, a smile interrupted by a moan of pleasure. Remus was sucking, nibbling, biting, grinding, kissing, _clawing_ at him. He was in a daze, not really knowing what was being done to him, yet he felt every little touch like tiny jolts of electricity penetrating his skin. 'How did Remus become so _good?_'

Remus was enjoying this emensily. It wasn't every day you had the one and only _Sirius Black _pinned beneith you panting with his legs sprawled moaning for more, no, _begging_ for it. Remus' fingers lingered at the zipper of Sirius' trousers. A wicked smile came across his face as Sirius arched his back in a futile attempt to make Remus touch harden. "Remy.. _please_" Sirius pleaded, looking at Remus with glistening, hungry eyes, from behind his bangs which stuck to his sweaty face. He was _intoxicating_. Remus leaned forward and removed the hair from Sirius' eyes. Giving him a hard kiss, biting his lip, he wispered "I love you Sirius, I want you.. want to be _inside_ you." And with those words he undid the zipper and moved his way around that particular area. The next thing clothes were flying, the air grew damp and hot around them, moans and cries were heard and hands were exploring..

An exeptionally louder cry was heard as Remus penetrated his Sirius. Remus groaned. It was total bliss, more than he'd ever even imagined he would be doing in this life.. and then some. He was going to remember this moment for as long as he lived, the calm before the storm.. Slowly Sirius began moving from under him. Clearly stating that he was ready he forced Remus' hips futher inside, arching and moaning and tugging. Remus plunged forward, then only to withdraw, then over again and again, taking in every movement, every little shift and expression of his lover's face. He intensified his thrusts, then, when he noticed Siruis was on the verge of cumming the thrusts stopped. Sirius squirmed and let out a desperate plea, almost one of despair. "No.. Re-mus.., he panted, wha- why?"

Remus leaned forward and planted a hungry kiss on his lover's lips and wispered in his ear. "If you want to cum.. roll your hips, and _beg_.." he made small thrusts causing Sirius to yelp at every single shift. Sirius was abashed, stairing, his eyes filled with confusion, and lust. Then a small smile flickered across his face as he slowly started to roll and thrust his hips making Remus to groan louder. "Make me cum Remus.. I cannot take it any longer, make me _yours_." This was all Remus needed to hear. He thrust inside of Sirius with all his length, which was saying some. Sirius nails were clawing Remus' back and with a silent cry he came, spilling himself across his lover and his own chest. Remus gave a last thrust and he too came, but with a cry which, too Sirius, was the sexiest sound he'd ever heard in his life.

Remus tumbled ontop of Sirius, panting. One hand lay on Sirius' chest and the other one was tangled in his long charcoal-black hair. He slipped out of his lover and lay his head on his chest, listening to his heartbeats which were beginning to slow down to a normal pace. He felt Sirius hand come up to his head and stroke his hair, his face, his chin. It all felt so surreal. Like it hadn't happened to him. '_But it did.'_ A voice inside his head said. He couldn't keep the smile away from his lips. He just felt so safe, lying in Sirius' strong arms, resting on his perfect chest, his soft skin. "It was perfect" he said, and snuggled closer. He felt Sirius arms tighten around him. "That it was, love." Sirius raised Remus' chin with his hand. "I _do_ love you Remus. It doesn't hurt anymore but my love for you will always be there." And with that he planted the outmost gentle kiss upon his love's forehead and slowly drifted away to sleep while thinking 'Damn, I never thought he would make an _uke_ out of me.."

Ta dam! There we had it. I really hope those who actually read it liked it. I had to write it with great cunning and stealth to keep away from prying eyes.. or something ;

This is (or should be) the last chapter in this mini-series. Dunno if I should write more.. anyways _pleaaase _review it would make me so happy!

Next project will probably be something like SBxLM  LMxRL  RLxSB...

Oooor one more fic about the no.1 slashy pairing SB/RL, and how it all begun.. errr.. awhell let me know what you think all right: –hugs to all who write nice things-


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